This weekend is Locals Weekend for Spoleto Festival USA. One of South Carolina’s most recognizable natives is the silver-tongued, black-hearted Frank Underwood (House of Cards) which had us ponder, when it comes to Festival performances, what would Frank do? We took some of his honey-drizzled words and came up with some suggestions:

1. A Brimful of Asha

“I’m southern Ms. Dunbar. My mother taught me that conversation during meal time is not only polite, it aids the digestive process.”

As a southerner who listens to his mama and relishes a good meal, we think Frank would enjoy Ravi Jain’s A Brimful of Asha. In this intimate and hilarious presentation, award-winning actor and director Jain shares the stage with his real-life mother, Asha, where they discuss love and life and whether or not he should follow his family’s custom of arranged marriage, a conversation they have over a meal, of course.

2. Facing Goya

“Puccini’s a downer. I prefer something much more optimistic.”

Out of the three operas presented this year, we think Frank may have an affinity with Michael Nyman’s Facing Goya, a cautionary tale that blends sci-fi, art history and a little conspiracy theory together while examining the moral repercussions of eugenics. Conspiracies… moral quandaries… improving the qualities of human beings… we think Frank would find that uplifting.

3. A Simple Space

“The best thing about human beings is that they stack so neatly.”

Australian acrobatic ensemble Gravity & Other Myths get up close and personal with A Simple Space, a playful, joyous, and stunning collection of new circus works featuring breathtaking feats of acrobatic ability and human physicality performed on a stripped back stage with the audience so close, they can hear every breath and feel the body heat.

4. My Cousin Rachel

“There’s no better way to overpower a trickle of doubt than with a flood of naked truth.”

In the Gate Theatre’s presentation of an adaptation of Daphne du Maurier’s dark mystery, the characters–and the audience–must decide if Rachel is a devastated grieving widow or malicious and sinister villain who killed her husband. Manipulation, seduction and murder… these are some of Frank’s favorite things.

4. René Marie: I Wanna Be Evil – With Love to Eartha Kitt

With this title, we think jazz singer René Marie’s tribute to Eartha Kitt would make Frank smile like the cat that got the cream.

Images of Frank Underwood from Netflix Original Series, House of Cards.